William Shakespeare once wrote, “The course of love never did run smooth.” That is an understatement. It can be complicated figuring out how to date. However, romancing a vegan when you’re not one can be especially daunting. 

Issues like where to eat, what to eat, or which activities to participate in become heightened. Other considerations include successfully blending friends and family members, which is exponentially more difficult when factoring in the unpredictable nature of other people’s opinions. Vegans and even vegetarians may have arrived at their lifestyle choice for any number of reasons, including the environment, health, the desire to lose weight, or animal rights. However, a new social network of people who disapprove of the lifestyle and aren’t afraid to poison the well with a meat-eating love interest can prove fatal for the relationship.

In a 2015 study, researchers found that some subjects expressed more prejudice against vegetarians and vegans than racial bias against other ethnicities. The study goes on to show that conservatives tend to view vegans more negatively than other groups. Ethical vegans – vegans who don’t eat meat out of solidarity with animals – are more disliked than vegans who abstain from meat for health reasons, and male vegans are less accepted than female vegans. When these biases arrive, communication is a must. According to mental health provider Better Help, “Being on the same page, even just being able to practice compromise, or understanding each other’s commitment to specific goals are important. In many cases, suddenly it might not make sense to stay together if a lot is different in terms of life views.” 

It really comes down to why a non-vegan would want to date a vegan or a vegetarian in the first place. Opposites often attract, and that can be very enticing. Heated philosophical debates can spark amorous outcomes initially, but arguments and negging are rarely enough to sustain an uplifting partnership. Dating apps like Veggly, Tinder, and Bumble are wonderful places to meet people who are health-conscious and civic-minded, which might have sparked the initial attraction. But those things are rarely casual cloaks that one tries on. Evaluating the long-term and short-term benefits and drawbacks of entering into a relationship predicated on oppositional beliefs should be the first order of business.

In the end, the trick to dating a vegan is to have an open mind and a respectful attitude. If you know that steaks, crab boils, and wine tastings are a huge part of your life, be honest with yourself first, then determine if you and your partner can reach some accord with your differences. The likelihood that a vegan will want to kiss you or engage in other forms of intimacy with meat and dairy on your lips is questionable. Also, know that veganism isn’t funny or to be mocked. For some who practice this lifestyle, it’s a health-related requirement; for others, it aligns with their morals. Therefore, never assume that vegans will – or should – get over themselves. Finally, remember that your vegan love interest is a human being at the end of the day. They are compassionate just like you, sensitive, and committed to making the world a better place. If that sounds like a match, go for it.

Sources: Better Help, “It ain’t easy eating greens: Evidence of bias toward vegetarians and vegans from both source and target” by Cara C. MacInnis and Gordon Hodson/Sage Journals